Why people-pleasing can kill your lightworker business

When you feel called to a life of service and healing, you want to help others. But as noble as that notion is, there’s a dark side to it. Helping others can quickly turn to pleasing others, and doing so can come at the detriment of yourself and your lightworker business.

When I first started pursuing my passion on the side, I remember a manager at my day job once telling me that she wished that she could clone me 10 times over. That’s actually not such an unusual compliment for me. I’ve always been able to please people. In school, I was a straight A student, and when I started working, I was always a star employee.

I would do anything to make an employer’s business shine, but when it came to working for myself, I didn’t give myself the same courtesy. There was a part of me that felt like I was wasting time whenever I worked on my own writing — the work that made me happy, and the work that I believed that I was called to do. If I was not working on someone else’s project, I felt like I was wasting time and moving toward the poor house. I had a subconscious belief that you can’t follow your passion and make a living; work is supposed to be practical and it’s not supposed to be fun. Work is work!

So how do you push past that fear? You must get more comfortable with pleasing yourself than with pleasing others. If that sounds like a horrible or selfish idea to you, consider taking Doreen Virtue’s course on becoming more assertive.

Then, you must stop waiting to feel better. Have you ever told yourself you’d wait until you were 100 percent certain before trying something? Or have you ever put off doing something until you felt better about your chances of succeeding or better about taking the risk?

The truth is circumstances don’t make you feel better — at least not for long. In order to get more than temporary relief, you have to decide to feel better and then your circumstances will change. I had to start being a star employee for myself even though I still felt like I was wasting time and moving toward the poor house. As my habits changed, my feelings changed and my circumstances proved that that belief was wrong.

How can you put that into action in your own life? Here are a couple of ways:

  • Get up earlier and work on your lightworker business FIRST and let your day job play second fiddle.
  • Pledge to spend a certain amount of time working on your lightworker business every day, even if it’s simply five minutes.
  • Cut something out of your daily life and devote that sacrificed time to your lightworker business.

As you take steps to put your lightworker business first, you’ll please yourself and reap the rewards instead of giving them to everyone else.

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